The Miser and The Spender

"I am the richest person in the world," proclaimed the miser, all the while living as if he was broke.

"No you're not," replied the spender. "For the money brings you no fun. And when your life is over, you can't take the money with you. It is only good here and now."

Meanwhile, the spender spent all his money having fun but had no savings, only worries about what would happen to him in bad times.

The Donkey and The Jackass

The little brown donkey toiled all day in the hot sun as a beast of burden to his owner. But instead of praising the donkey, the owner beat him, starved him and demanded more work.

One day a neighbor saw this sorry scene and said to the owner, "I will pay you what this donkey is worth and 20% more if you will sell him to me."

"Pay me 40% more and he's yours," the owner replied. "But in no time, you will be sorry because this donkey has to be forced to do any work at all."

Impeaching Santa Claus

Although Santa Claus is a global phenomenon, the US, split along political party lines prepared to impeach him.

“On what grounds,” asked one political party.

“For a quid pro quo,” replied the other political party. “He offered children presents but only on the condition that they be good. And it was all to keep him as Santa.”

The Owl and The Fox

“Nobody ever got rich by overestimating the intelligence of people,” chuckled the wise old owl. “People aren’t that smart and can be easily swindled.”

“That may be true,” replied the clever fox. “But history teaches us, when people learn they’ve been swindled, they angrily seize those riches and the swindler.

“So,” concluded the clever fox, “The truly smart people provide a good bargain in any business transaction, swindling no one.”

With Love To All ~ Dick

The Hunter and The Snake

One day a poisonous snake slithered up to a hunter. Before the hunter could shoot him, the snake said, "Let’s hunt together, we will kill more game."

"But when we feast on our kills, won't your poison kill me," the man asked. "No," replied the snake. "Because my poison affects the brain, not the body."

"How can I trust you," asked the hunter. "You can," replied the snake, "Because I give you my word."

The Butterfly and The Bee

“Behold,“ said the bee to the spiders and the snails. “I am the most beautiful of all insects.”

But just then, a beautiful butterfly fluttered his golden wings and gently flew by. “Wow,” said the spiders and the snails. “This butterfly is the most beautiful.”

Embarrassed by their response, the bee flew over to the butterfly. “I am the most beautiful of all the insects, not you,” he hollered.