Monday, February 23, 2015

Gordon, Sady And Me

In the far corner of my beautiful backyard, there is a lovely patch of green grass, as smooth as a putting green. But last week, that patch suddenly had three little holes.

"Who did this to my grass," I cried out.

"I guess I did," replied a small brown gopher. "I just moved in here."

"Well, you can't stay here," I said indignantly. "You fill in those holes and go."

"My name is Gordon," he replied. "And where should I go?" "Anyplace but here," I answered.

Just then another small gopher appeared from one of those holes and waved a right front paw at me.

"That's my wife Gilda," Gordon said. "We have two children and her parents that live with us. And you have the only yard in the neighborhood without a dog or a cat to endanger us, or gopher traps to kill us."

"Yes," I said, "But I take pride in my yard. Now look at what you've done to it!"

"But it's a very small portion of your yard," said Gordon. "It's hardly noticeable.

"If you'll let my family and me stay," Gordon continued, "We'll eat the weeds under your roses and we'll fertilize your plants with our droppings. And we only come out at night so you won't even see us or hear us.

"Please," he pleaded. "But you're a rodent," I said in disgust.

"But so are the squirrels and chipmunks that live in the trees all around you," Gordon replied. "And you don't object to them. In fact you think they're cute and you feed them. Us you don't have to feed and we're every bit as cute.

"Let me think about this," I answered. "All my life," I thought to myself, "Gophers have always been considered to be disgusting, vile little animals. And there are no Disney characters that are gophers.

"Yet they are kind of cute. And where else could they go?

"Okay Gordon," I said, "You and your family can stay for now. But the first time you attract more gophers, you're gone." Gordon was so happy, he danced and did somersaults and thanked me profusely.

But that night when I told my wife Anne, she replied, "You're a sucker for every creature with a sad story to tell." "No I'm not," I assured her as she looked skeptically at me. "This is an exception."

Then the next day, I thought I heard a knock or a scratch on our front door. When I opened it, there was a raccoon with two baby raccoons alongside her.

"Hello, my name is Sady," she said. "And my babies and I have no place to live. Would you let us live in a little corner of your yard. I promise, we will never disturb you, you won't even know we are there."

As I stood there dumbfounded, while looking at the cutest baby raccoons, I thought to myself, "How am I ever going to explain this Anne," as I motioned Sady and her babies into our yard.

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