Wednesday, September 30, 2020

The Great Pissing Contest

Genovia was desperate for a new president. The current one had failed miserably in dealing with the pandemic that swept the land, ignored the environment, hadn't paid his taxes and was buried in debts and litigation.

So in the time honored tradition among men, the next president would be selected by a pissing contest.

The men lined up on a pier overhanging Lake Woebegone, and began urinating with everything their beer had given them.

But being under the influence, some men fell into the lake, while others urinated on their shoes, or on the person next to them. This contest went on for hours as the men rejuvenated themselves with more beer and got even drunker.

Meanwhile, in disgust the women of Genovia got together. "Any of us could do better than the men," one said. "The current one is unbelievably bad." 

"Yes," another replied, "But Genovia has never had a woman president." "You're right," answered a 3rd woman, "Which means it's long past time there was one."

Then the women followed their time honored tradition of exploring each other's feelings and choosing the one they felt had the greatest level of compassion.

When the men returned, shouting and stumbling and laughing, but with the presidency unfilled, the women spoke:

"We've chosen the new president," they said in unison. "And she will rule with compassion and wisdom, we hope a cross between Mother Teresa and Gandhi."

"We are done with wars, done with arming the world, done with spending money we don't have and done with education, the climate and social services being a low priority."

"But that's never been what Genovia has stood for," the men replied. "Yes," the women answered. "It's time to build a new Genovia, one that is model nation for the world."

Grudgingly accepting their fate, the men wandered off. "Maybe there's sports on TV," said one. "Or action movies," said another. "Yeah," said a 3rd man, adding, "Maybe some day we can make Genovia great again."

With Love To All - Dick

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