At 4:50 PM yesterday, a “Flash Mob” of more than 30
people, robbed an Yves Saint Laurent store in the Glendale Mall of about
$300,000 in merchandise.
I hate “Flash Mob” robbery, but I was emboldened by this crime, and today tried to rob Costco of two pair of socks. A Girl Scout tackled me, and a store clerk sat on me until the police arrived.
During excavation for the Four Seasons Hotel in Rome, archaeologists were called in when Roman Emperor Nero’s famed but long lost Theater was found.
In related news, 10 minutes after the discovery, Taylor Swift booked, and sold out all of her upcoming concerts there.
Modeled on the Tour de France, the Sea Turtle Conservancy
on August 1st, will launch the Tour de Turtles.
The “race” will include putting trackers on turtle “contestants,” and measuring when and where the turtles go.
But much like the Tour de France, rumors are already swirling about the illegal use of steroids.
In shocking sports news, Novak Djokovic will be unable to play for any more tennis championships because no one can pronounce his name.
GiveVision has a great new product, that allows sports fans with limited vision to see everything in far greater detail using their new GiveVision headset!
But the biggest market is for matchmakers, such as eHarmony as GiveVision headsets allow a much better look at candidates.
Recently, I began pursuing an exciting new career in the entertainment industry. Looking for opportunities, I went to Disneyland, where they auditioned me for a wide variety of roles.
Would they cast me as Mufasa ("The Lion King") or Prince Charming? Well not exactly.
At the Weinerschnitzel Weiner Nationals, an annual event held in Los Alamitos, CA a Dachshund named Beenie Von Weenie was declared “The Fastest Wienie of the West” for 2023 after he outran about 100 other Dachshunds. He won $1000 and a new dog house, in this fund raising charity event.
