Friday, July 21, 2017

When Santa Robbed A Bank

As Santa listened, his Chief Financial Officer Irving said, "We have a desperate situation."

"Healthcare costs for the elves and reindeer are overwhelming us, as is the rising cost of making toys. We have to raise $5-million immediately, if you are to bring toys to children this year."

Santa and Irving explored many ideas, but only one would work, robbing a bank. "We'll rob the richest bank," said Santa regretfully. "The Bank of America (B of A).

"We'll rob their Beverly Hills branch because it will have the money we need."

The next day, Santa and his elves landed his sleigh in front of the branch.

Wearing small black masks covering their eyes and noses, and holding water pistols, they went into the bank and Santa said, "This is a holdup, and no-one is going to get hurt."

"Please put $5-million in these satchels, and we will be on our way."

"But everybody recognized Santa and his elves, and laughed and cheered and began taking selfies and group photos with them as they loaded the satchels with money.

Outside, traffic had slowed to a crawl as everyone marveled at Santa's sleigh and reindeer and leaned out of their cars to take photos.

After waving goodbye to everyone, Santa and his elves took off in his sleigh for the North Pole. The bills would all be paid, and Christmas would be saved.

Meanwhile, the president of the B of A met with the FBI director. "Santa Claus is our prime suspect," the director said.

"Yes," replied the B of A president. "But no jury will convict him. I suggest you drop the case, and have the government reimburse us for the money that was taken."

"How much was taken," asked the FBI director. "$100-million," answered the B of A president, with a straight face.

The case was dropped and the B of A received $100-million from the government. Then all the other giant banks claimed, "We were each robbed of $100-million."

And soon they too were each paid $100-million by the government.

When Santa heard what the B of A and the other giant banks had done, he was furious.

"If ever we need to rob a giant bank again," Santa hollered to Irving, "We'll take the presidents of these giant banks with us, for they are far bigger thieves than we could ever be."

With Love To All - Dick Print Friendly and PDF

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