For despite his marriage, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer allegedly had affairs with two other female reindeer, one of them a porn star.
And Rudolph is also accused of having another of Santa's reindeer, Blitzer pay hush money to cover-up these lurid affairs, money allegedly stolen from Santa.
"What have you got to say for yourself," Santa asked Rudolph.
"I deny it all," replied Rudolph. But even as he was saying this to Santa, Blitzer was signing a plea deal with Santa's attorney Robert Mueller, to avoid prison.
Just then, an aide whispered to Santa, "Sir, one of our top elves, Sugarplum Mary, is accused of colluding with Russian toy makers.”
And another aide added, “The North Pole Gazzette just published an article from an anonymous elf claiming you’re paranoid, crazy and incompetent.”
“That’s all,” hollered Santa. “How did a great institution as ours ever sink to this level. Fnow now on, we build and deliver our toys using robots and drones."
With Love To All - Dick
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