Thursday, August 18, 2022

The Safest Vehicle

Dear Reader, This story is meant strictly in humor. Please enjoy.

In the news, Toyota is recalling all of its electric SUV's because the wheels may fall off, and GM is recalling nearly 1/2 million large SUV's because of seat belt issues. Car recalls happen regularly. 

Because my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros may buy a new car, she asked my advice. To assure her the safest of vehicles for her family, I made an usual recommendation:

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Monday, August 15, 2022

The Village Idiot

In my village, I've long been the unchallenged idiot for taking positions everyone knows are wrong. 

For I oppose censorship, including "hate speech," arrest of non-violent marijuana dealers, the U.S. wars and endless government deficit spending.

But now I have many village idiot challengers. News stories misstating everything from viruses, to national security/espionage, to the environment are everywhere.

These many perpetrators by comparison are making me appear intelligent, which I never thought could happen.

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Thursday, August 11, 2022

Starbucks, Fruit Drink Of Champions

Dear Reader, 

Joan Kominis of Queens, New York filed a lawsuit claiming that several of the Starbucks fruit drinks don’t actually contain the fruit their names imply, and instead are "predominantly made with water, grape juice concentrate, and sugar."

Because I love drinks comprised of water, grape juice concentrate and sugar, I’ve become a devoted fan of Starbucks’ “fruit” drinks. Each day, I tell my Barista to serve me a “Trenta,” a nearly 2-pound drink. But today, everything changed:   

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Monday, August 1, 2022

Becoming Yoda

Dear Reader, 

A lawsuit was filed against candy company Mars, claiming its Skittles are “unfit for human consumption.” The suit focuses on titanium dioxide, which it calls a “toxin,” causing cancer and altering DNA.

Because I eat Skittles morning, noon and night, I got upset as I noticed the DNA changes in my body. I am now 2-feet tall, green and look and talk like Yoda as these words slipped out, “People to sue us we want not.” In a panic, I contacted my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros to find out what to do.

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