A Library Book Returned After 96 Years

A library book originally checked out in February 1927, “A History of the United States,” by Benson Lossing was recently returned to a Napa County, CA library.

Surfing The Waves of Santa Monica

According to The World Surf League, Australian pro surfer Laura Enever broke the world record when she surfed a 43 foot wave in Hawaii in January.

Goodbye To Binkey

Recently, master repairman Joaquin Miranda, fixed the front lights to our home. But Joaquin had to return a day later, because the lights still did not work.

They didn’t work because Binkey the mouse had eaten the wires, and unable to digest them, he died. Why had he eaten them? He was determined to set a new Guinness Book Of World Records record for wires eaten at one time by one mouse, it was a bold effort!

My Career As A Thief

At 4:50 PM yesterday, a “Flash Mob” of more than 30 people, robbed an Yves Saint Laurent store in the Glendale Mall of about $300,000 in merchandise.

I hate “Flash Mob” robbery, but I was emboldened by this crime, and today tried to rob Costco of two pair of socks. A Girl Scout tackled me, and a store clerk sat on me until the police arrived.

Roman Emperor Nero's Famed Theater

During excavation for the Four Seasons Hotel in Rome, archaeologists were called in when Roman Emperor Nero’s famed but long lost Theater was found.

In related news, 10 minutes after the discovery, Taylor Swift booked, and sold out all of her upcoming concerts there.

The Tour de Turtles

Modeled on the Tour de France, the Sea Turtle Conservancy on August 1st, will launch the Tour de Turtles.

The “race” will include putting trackers on turtle “contestants,” and measuring when and where the turtles go.

But much like the Tour de France, rumors are already swirling about the illegal use of steroids.

Novak Djokovic Shocking Sports News

In shocking sports news, Novak Djokovic will be unable to play for any more tennis championships because no one can pronounce his name.