Friday, January 27, 2023

Talking To Your Houseplants

The Washington Post recently ran a story, “The case for talking to your houseplants.” Inspired, I called a meeting of my roses:

Print Friendly and PDF

Friday, January 20, 2023

The Greatest Neighborhood Watch

To keep us safe from crime, my neighbors and I formed a neighborhood watch. And we warn intruders that there is an imminent armed response.

That warning is real. With weapons so plentiful in the U.S. I made a great buy on a Howitzer, which now sets on my front lawn. 

It stands 9-feet tall, and 9-feet wide, weighs 16,000 pounds and will intimidate any intruders. Unfortunately, it does have two major problems:

Print Friendly and PDF

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Rescuing Marty The Lab Mouse

A new U.S. law has ended the requirement that all drugs be tested on lab mice or other animals prior to human trials. This is a great news for animal rights activists.

But a protest began from an unlikely source. Marty Mouse cried out, “How am I supposed to support a wife and 47 children without my lab income?”

Fortunately, Peloton had the answer. 

Print Friendly and PDF

Friday, January 6, 2023

An Amazing Discovery In Israel

Archaeologists in Israel made an amazing discovery: 780,000 year old fish dinner waste! This means early humans cooked dinners nearly a million years ago! 

They don’t know who these people were or how the dinner waste lasted so long but I think it happened something like this: 

Print Friendly and PDF