Saturday, May 27, 2023

The Future Of NASA Space Travel

In the news, Kelly Drew, professor of chemistry and biochemistry at the University of Alaska, after decades of studying how Arctic squirrels hibernate, is researching ways humans can “hibernate” during long space missions. Excited by her work, I called NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, but with an even better proposition:

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Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Breaking Octopus News

Proclaimed as a scientific breakthrough, scientists announced they filmed Costello, an octopus, having a nightmare, a first for an octopus. I asked University of Vermont scientist Dr. Eric Angel Ramos, why this is important:

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Monday, May 15, 2023

Saving A Special Palm Tree

500 miles east of Madagascar in the Indian Ocean is Mauritius and 15 miles further north is Round Island. There, the last hurricane palm sways in the breeze. Scientists are trying desperately to save this species. To learn more, I spoke with Dr. Yama Bahama.

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Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Rescuing The Koalas

In shocking news, it is estimated that 80% of the koalas in New South Wales, Australia have the sexually transmitted disease chlamydia. To find out how scientists will combat this disease, I spoke to Australian Professor Norman Nerdly:

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Wednesday, April 26, 2023

The Perfect Woman

Guys, have you been searching for that perfect woman? A woman who will:

1) Listen to everything you have to say, and not discuss her "feelings," or anything else that bores you.

2) Have sex with you as often as you like, and not seek a "commitment."

3) Have no baggage from prior relationships or have other personal problems.

If so, I have The Perfect Woman for you:

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Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Why Men Have Gray Hair

The New York Times recently published an exciting new scientific study researching why hair on humans and mice turn gray. Impressed by all the time and money spent on this research, I decided to test it for myself.

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Friday, April 21, 2023

A Major Scientific Breakthrough

News Headline: "Researchers Capture Sharpest-Ever Images of a Mouse Brain," Duke University scientists announced.

When asked the relevancy of this scientific breakthrough, Duke scientists had no answer, except to say, "Doing this seemed like a great idea during a Saturday night tequila drinking contest."

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Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Every Bride's Dream Just Came True

Last weekend, The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile came to Las Vegas and in conjunction with the iconic Little White Chapel, where Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were married, held weddings.

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The Great Dime Robbery

In the news, approximately 2 million dimes, or about $200,000, was taken from a tractor trailer in a parking lot of the Philadelphia Mills shopping mall complex in north-east Philadelphia on Thursday morning.

Seeing a great story, I approached one of the robbers:

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Monday, April 17, 2023

A Remarkable New Egyptian Tomb Discovery

Archeologists recently discovered a 3,200 year-old-tomb belonging to Panehsy, the temple guard of Egyptian deity Amun.

While exploring the tomb yesterday, the archeologists discovered a newspaper interview of Mrs. Panehsy: 

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Friday, April 14, 2023

An Amazing Scientific Wonder

At the Berlin Zoo, an elephant, Pang Pha amazed scientists, when despite having no thumbs, she peeled a banana.

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Thursday, April 13, 2023

Why do people get cancer far more often than other animals

Scientists at Britain's famed Welcome Sanger Institute are trying to learn why humans get cancer far more often than other mammals, such as whales and elephants.

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Monday, April 10, 2023

The First Cell Phone Call

On April 3, 1973 Motorola engineer, and inventor Martin Cooper using a brick sized device, made history when he placed the world’s first cell phone call.

It was to Domino’s, and unfortunately, he is still waiting for his pizza to be delivered.

With Love To All - Dick

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Friday, March 10, 2023

U.S. Navy Dolphins

Since the 1950s The US Navy has used dolphins to locate explosives and recover submerged objects. But increasingly, underwater drones are replacing dolphins, many of whom are now in old age.

To understand the impact on these old dolphins, I interviewed the eldest of them, Saul.

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Sunday, March 5, 2023

Maybe The Greatest Investment Ever!

Red Bull is hugely successful, last year selling more than 11 billion cans of energy drinks worldwide!

As investors, if we can capture just a tiny piece of Red Bull's gigantic energy drink market, we will make a fortune! 

To do this, we plan to start Full of Bull, because our cans will be an ounce larger.

Red Bull's target audience is the "young and adventure-seeking," and it loads its drinks with caffeine, sugar, salt and artificial colors.

Its slogan is, "Red Bull gives you wings," implying the "wings" give you the energy to achieve greatness.

We will load ours with the same unhealthy ingredients as Red Bull and our slogan will be, "Full of Bull gives you a big butt." 

Not only is this truth in advertising but it will appeal to the massive audience that sits on the couch watching games rather than ever playing them. 
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Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Mexican President Discovers An Elf

President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador discovered a forest spirit similar to an elf, and he has a photo to prove it. Recognizing the interview of a lifetime, I spoke with this elf, named Alf:

DK: No-one has ever seen you before. Why have you now gone public?

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Thursday, February 23, 2023

The New Super Oreo

There is a new Super Oreo, Most Oreo, "the most Oreo Oreo ever," according to the company. Believe it or not, it is Oreos stuffed with more Oreos!

I knew at last I could attain my lifetime goal of getting into the Guinness Book of World Records, by eating the most Most Oreo Oreos ever.

So I bought a huge bag of them, and told Guinness I would promptly eat them all.
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Sunday, February 19, 2023

Buying Girl Scout Cookies, 2-18-23

At Starbucks today, six of the cutest little Girl Scouts and their lovely mothers were selling cookies.

Under the California Adorable Law, it was mandatory for me to buy their cookies.

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Saturday, February 11, 2023

A Squad Of Drug-Sniffing Squirrels

According to The Washington Post, a Chinese police unit said it "successfully trained" six Eurasian red squirrels to sniff out drugs, as this elite little squad can get into tight places dogs cannot reach.

Impressed, I interviewed Sammy, the squirrel squad leader to learn more:

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Friday, February 10, 2023

"Big Ass Mexican Pizza"

In honor of the Super Bowl, Taco Bell is introducing a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza,” four times the size of its regular Mexican Pizza.

To prepare for the challenge of trying to eat one of these things, my stomach and I had a talk. “Are you nuts,” screamed my stomach, “It’s so high in calories, fats and cholesterol, it could kill us!”

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Thursday, February 9, 2023

Interviewing The Chinese Weather Balloon

Today on Zoom, I briefly interviewed the Chinese Weather Balloon:

Why were you flying over Montana? “I was on vacation.”

How do you feel about being called the size of three buses? “It was insulting! I already have a bad self body image and now I will never have the confidence to attract lady balloons.”

How do you feel about being called a spy? “It’s ridiculous! When I fly, everyone can see me. James Bond, I’m not.“

What are your future plans? “I’m going to vacation by flying over the Congress and the White House. Those are great places for me to fill up with hot air.“

With Love To All - Dick

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Saturday, February 4, 2023

Forgiving The Witches

“After nearly 400 years, Connecticut is considering posthumously exonerating the people, mostly women, accused of witchcraft in the 17th and 18th centuries.”

Alse Young was the first women, hanged May 26, 1647. Wanting to know her reaction to possibly being exonerated in 2023, I went to a spiritual medium, who then brought Alse into the room.

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Thursday, February 2, 2023

The Oldest Mummy

It was reported last week Egyptian archaeologists discovered a 4300 year old mummy, the oldest mummy yet found. His name was Hekashepes and he was entombed in a limestone sarcophagus (fancy coffin).

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Friday, January 27, 2023

Talking To Your Houseplants

The Washington Post recently ran a story, “The case for talking to your houseplants.” Inspired, I called a meeting of my roses:

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Friday, January 20, 2023

The Greatest Neighborhood Watch

To keep us safe from crime, my neighbors and I formed a neighborhood watch. And we warn intruders that there is an imminent armed response.

That warning is real. With weapons so plentiful in the U.S. I made a great buy on a Howitzer, which now sets on my front lawn. 

It stands 9-feet tall, and 9-feet wide, weighs 16,000 pounds and will intimidate any intruders. Unfortunately, it does have two major problems:

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Thursday, January 19, 2023

Rescuing Marty The Lab Mouse

A new U.S. law has ended the requirement that all drugs be tested on lab mice or other animals prior to human trials. This is a great news for animal rights activists.

But a protest began from an unlikely source. Marty Mouse cried out, “How am I supposed to support a wife and 47 children without my lab income?”

Fortunately, Peloton had the answer. 

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Friday, January 6, 2023

An Amazing Discovery In Israel

Archaeologists in Israel made an amazing discovery: 780,000 year old fish dinner waste! This means early humans cooked dinners nearly a million years ago! 

They don’t know who these people were or how the dinner waste lasted so long but I think it happened something like this: 

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