In the news, Kelly Drew, professor of chemistry and biochemistry at the University of Alaska, after decades of studying how Arctic squirrels hibernate, is researching ways humans can “hibernate” during long space missions. Excited by her work, I called NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, but with an even better proposition:
Saturday, May 27, 2023
Wednesday, May 24, 2023
Breaking Octopus News
Monday, May 15, 2023
Saving A Special Palm Tree
Wednesday, May 10, 2023
Rescuing The Koalas
Wednesday, April 26, 2023
The Perfect Woman
Guys, have you been searching for that perfect woman? A woman who will:
1) Listen to everything you have to say, and not discuss her "feelings," or anything else that bores you.
2) Have sex with you as often as you like, and not seek a "commitment."
3) Have no baggage from prior relationships or have other personal problems.
If so, I have The Perfect Woman for you:
Tuesday, April 25, 2023
Why Men Have Gray Hair
Friday, April 21, 2023
A Major Scientific Breakthrough
News Headline: "Researchers Capture Sharpest-Ever Images of a Mouse Brain," Duke University scientists announced.
When asked the relevancy of this scientific breakthrough, Duke scientists had no answer, except to say, "Doing this seemed like a great idea during a Saturday night tequila drinking contest."
Wednesday, April 19, 2023
Every Bride's Dream Just Came True
The Great Dime Robbery
In the news, approximately 2 million dimes, or about $200,000, was taken from a tractor trailer in a parking lot of the Philadelphia Mills shopping mall complex in north-east Philadelphia on Thursday morning.
Seeing a great story, I approached one of the robbers:
Monday, April 17, 2023
A Remarkable New Egyptian Tomb Discovery
Friday, April 14, 2023
An Amazing Scientific Wonder
Thursday, April 13, 2023
Why do people get cancer far more often than other animals
Monday, April 10, 2023
The First Cell Phone Call
Friday, March 10, 2023
U.S. Navy Dolphins
Sunday, March 5, 2023
Maybe The Greatest Investment Ever!
Red Bull is hugely successful, last year selling more than 11 billion cans of energy drinks worldwide!
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
Mexican President Discovers An Elf
Thursday, February 23, 2023
The New Super Oreo
Sunday, February 19, 2023
Buying Girl Scout Cookies, 2-18-23
Saturday, February 11, 2023
A Squad Of Drug-Sniffing Squirrels
Friday, February 10, 2023
"Big Ass Mexican Pizza"
In honor of the Super Bowl, Taco Bell is introducing a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza,” four times the size of its regular Mexican Pizza.
To prepare for the challenge of trying to eat one of these things, my stomach and I had a talk. “Are you nuts,” screamed my stomach, “It’s so high in calories, fats and cholesterol, it could kill us!”
Thursday, February 9, 2023
Interviewing The Chinese Weather Balloon
Today on Zoom, I briefly interviewed the Chinese Weather Balloon:
Why were you flying over Montana? “I was on vacation.”
How do you feel about being called the size of three buses? “It was insulting! I already have a bad self body image and now I will never have the confidence to attract lady balloons.”
How do you feel about being called a spy? “It’s ridiculous! When I fly, everyone can see me. James Bond, I’m not.“
What are your future plans? “I’m going to vacation by flying over the Congress and the White House. Those are great places for me to fill up with hot air.“
With Love To All - Dick
Saturday, February 4, 2023
Forgiving The Witches
“After nearly 400 years, Connecticut is considering posthumously exonerating the people, mostly women, accused of witchcraft in the 17th and 18th centuries.”
Alse Young was the first women, hanged May 26, 1647. Wanting to know her reaction to possibly being exonerated in 2023, I went to a spiritual medium, who then brought Alse into the room.
Thursday, February 2, 2023
The Oldest Mummy
Friday, January 27, 2023
Talking To Your Houseplants
Friday, January 20, 2023
The Greatest Neighborhood Watch
To keep us safe from crime, my neighbors and I formed a neighborhood watch. And we warn intruders that there is an imminent armed response.
That warning is real. With weapons so plentiful in the U.S. I made a great buy on a Howitzer, which now sets on my front lawn.
It stands 9-feet tall, and 9-feet wide, weighs 16,000 pounds and will intimidate any intruders. Unfortunately, it does have two major problems:
Thursday, January 19, 2023
Rescuing Marty The Lab Mouse
A new U.S. law has ended the requirement that all drugs be tested on lab mice or other animals prior to human trials. This is a great news for animal rights activists.
But a protest began from an unlikely source. Marty Mouse cried out, “How am I supposed to support a wife and 47 children without my lab income?”
Fortunately, Peloton had the answer.