Friday, August 11, 2023

My Career As A Thief

At 4:50 PM yesterday, a “Flash Mob” of more than 30 people, robbed an Yves Saint Laurent store in the Glendale Mall of about $300,000 in merchandise.

I hate “Flash Mob” robbery, but I was emboldened by this crime, and today tried to rob Costco of two pair of socks. A Girl Scout tackled me, and a store clerk sat on me until the police arrived.

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Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Roman Emperor Nero's Famed Theater

During excavation for the Four Seasons Hotel in Rome, archaeologists were called in when Roman Emperor Nero’s famed but long lost Theater was found.

In related news, 10 minutes after the discovery, Taylor Swift booked, and sold out all of her upcoming concerts there.

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