A Major Breaking News Story:
On June 12, 2026, Gracie, a 10-foot-tall giraffe escaped from the Cedar Hollow Ranch in Texas, a ranch of a thousand acres.
For two weeks, Gracie made headlines worldwide, as ranch crews used helicopters and drones to scour the vast acreage but still could not find her. The ranch became so desperate, they even offered a $5000 reward.
To the world, she was widely known as, “Texas’s most wanted Giraffe.”
When she was finally found, and returned to the ranch, Gracie was healthy, happy and well-fed. But no-one could figure out where she had gone during that time.
It was an unsolved mystery, and I intended to solve it.
It took extensive investigative work, in which I looked and sounded like a Hollywood 1940s private eye, with a striking resemblance to Humphrey Bogart.
To be consistent with the 1940s, I drove a ‘46 Dodge coupe, and took up drinking and smoking, and every thing around me seemed to be in black and white.
But it was worth it.
The case broke wide open when the “cigarette girl,” in a dingy nightclub directed me to a seedy looking guy in a cheap suit, in a dark corner of a smoke filled room.
He asked, "Would ya pay 200 bucks to learn where the giraffe is, well would ya?" I said “yes,” slipping him 10 crumpled 20 dollar bills.
He sent me to "Mr. Big," who turned out to be Bobby Bombastic, CEO of Nuclear Waste Industries. When I arrived, everything around me returned to full color.
I discovered during that two weeks, Gracie had worked for Nuclear Waste Industries.
To get the inside scoop, I spoke to Mr. Bombastic:
DK: Did you notice anything unusual about her?
Bombastic: Well, we did notice that she was very tall. But she was quiet, never complained, and did her job well.
DK: What was her job?
Bombastic: Eating the weeds, and trimming the plants. In fact, she did her job so well, she replaced the gardeners.
DK: Was she a good employee?
Bombastic: The best! Before they recaptured her, we were about to name her Employee of the Month.
DK: Is there anything you would like to say to Gracie?
Bombastic: Yes! Gracie please come back! Nuclear waste processing is not the same without you.
With Love To All - Dick
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