Saturday, August 24, 2013

Marihuana Mama

Ken Banks was always a dreamer. When he attended UC Berkeley he pictured himself doing something special to uplift mankind. But as the years passed, he became an accountant and businessman with a nice income, nice home and a lovely wife, Marianne.

And Ken became a pillar of his moneyed conservative community, joining Rotary and being elected to the City Council. Their daughter Amanda attended private school.

The one bold thing thing they did as a couple was to occasionally smoke Marihuana, and because Marihuana was still illegal in California, among their friends Marianne got the nickname "Marihuana Mama" because she had the connection to keep everyone well supplied.

But at 50 Ken had become disillusioned with his life longing for the idealism of his youth. It was then that he hit upon an idea. He asked Marianne to introduce him to her Marihuana dealer, a friendly but disorganized man named Bobby.

After Bobby discussed his business with Ken and Marihuana Momma, Ken said to Bobby "How would you like to make more money than you ever dreamed of?" To which Bobby adjusted his long blond pony tail and replied, "What do you have in mind?"

"That I become your partner," answered Ken. "With my accounting and business expertise I can expand your operation dramatically and generate so much money, that our biggest problem will be how to launder it all."

This sounded great to Bobby and that afternoon they formed a 50 - 50 partnership, one which became so successful, that within 24 months they could no longer stash so many dollars. Knowing of JP Morgan Chase's affinity for drug cartel money, Ken banked the money with them.

But now it was time to take his share of the enormous Marihuana profits and not just invest them in expanding the business but to do something bold for mankind.

Ken selected three poor inner city grade schools and set up an endowment for each that was so large, it could fund all the programs they had never before been able to conduct including free breakfasts and lunches for all the children.

Then he took the next big step. "I promise each of you," he said to the parents of the student body of each school "that there will be enough money to pay for your children's college education.

"Your job is to support the top teachers and counselors we've brought into each school to ensure your children make the grades necessary throughout the rest of their time in school to be college qualified and college bound."

Most parents recognized the life changing extraordinary opportunity this would be and wholeheartedly supported it, as an educational revolution at those three schools had begun, ironically and unbeknownst to them funded by Marihuana money.

The government was never the wiser for all the money was laundered through JP Morgan Chase, one of the world's biggest banks. Ken had begun to uplift the world as he had always dreamed of doing.

"Do you have any concerns about this operation," Marihuana Momma asked him. "Just one," he replied.

"And that is someday the government will legalize Marihuana and destroy our cash cow. But for now our job is to make as much money as we can to educate the largest number of students possible."

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