Sunday, April 12, 2020

A Sports Crisis In Genovia

Because of the coronavirus, Genovia's people are suffering and the government recently canceled all sports events. But as a result, another crisis has arisen.

Hopscotch is Genovia's national sport and many sports fans paid in advance for their tickets.

But multi-millionaire Hopscotch team owners have refused to refund the money, claiming it is “Major League Hopscotch policy.”

In one of many cases, the teachers at a local grammar school had purchased tickets to help their students celebrate their graduation.

But now there are no Hopscotch matches and no refunds.

“We worked hard and saved our money said Karen Covid, one of the teachers. “We don’t make much money and now our money is gone, even though we didn’t get what we paid for."

“It’s a good business lesson for them,” remarked Chubby Carlisle, one of the owners. “In capitalism it is buyer beware and we’ve pocketed their money.”

However, this is a Genovian election year, and politicians soon threatened to hold televised hearings, investigating the secretive ways tickets are sold, and how owners profit by it.

In response, giant ticket broker Shlubhub issued a statement stating it was all a misunderstanding, even as they, the owners and politicians held secret meetings to make this go away.

And they did make it go away by finally offering refunds for Hopscotch matches not played.

"It's a great day for Genovia and its people," proclaimed Willis Blunderfield, Genovia's President. "In these tough economic times, everyone should share in the pain."

But as it later turned out, the multi-millionaire Hopscotch owners received tax benefits and bailout funds at taxpayer expense.

President Blunderfield, the Hopscotch owners and Shlubhub management had no comment, but the fans didn't care.

They were just thrilled their shelter-in-place orders were lifted and they could go again to the Hopscotch stadiums and cheer for their favorite teams.

With Love To All - Dick
Dear Reader: This Fable was based upon real-life U.S. Major League Baseball refusing to refund ticket money for games not played, calling it "Major League Baseball policy." and It's so outrageous, no fiction writer could ever make this up.

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