Sunday, March 5, 2023

Maybe The Greatest Investment Ever!

Red Bull is hugely successful, last year selling more than 11 billion cans of energy drinks worldwide!

As investors, if we can capture just a tiny piece of Red Bull's gigantic energy drink market, we will make a fortune! 

To do this, we plan to start Full of Bull, because our cans will be an ounce larger.

Red Bull's target audience is the "young and adventure-seeking," and it loads its drinks with caffeine, sugar, salt and artificial colors.

Its slogan is, "Red Bull gives you wings," implying the "wings" give you the energy to achieve greatness.

We will load ours with the same unhealthy ingredients as Red Bull and our slogan will be, "Full of Bull gives you a big butt." 

Not only is this truth in advertising but it will appeal to the massive audience that sits on the couch watching games rather than ever playing them. 

For them, Full of Bull will be the ideal fantasy fulfillment, as we bring glamour and excitement into their homes, using heavyset athletes as often as possible.

Endorsements bring credibility, so Full of Bull will be endorsed by major athletes and celebrities because many of them will endorse anything for money.  

And we will create sports events that would make Evil Knievel cringe.

This may seem crazy, but by doing all these things, Full of Bull may turn out to be The Greatest Investment Ever!

With Love To All - Dick

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