In the news, Kelly Drew, professor of chemistry and biochemistry at the University of Alaska, after decades of studying how Arctic squirrels hibernate, is researching ways humans can “hibernate” during long space missions. Excited by her work, I called NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, but with an even better proposition:
DK: Why not use squirrel astronauts instead of humans? The cost of food would be far less, as would the cost of tiny space suits instead of bigger ones.
BN: But when we reach Mars or Venus, wouldn't they run off and hide.
DK: No problem! Mars and Venus have no trees to hide in and
you can lure them back with peanuts.
BN: That’s true! But what if one gets runover?
DK: Runover by what? There are no cars.
BN: That’s true!
DK: And they are so cute, you can publish adorable videos of
them on social media and capture the hearts of people all over the world.
Hollywood movies will follow! Raising money for your missions will never again
be an issue!
BN: I’m sold! We will recruit them immediately! I will name one Squeezy! Alvin and the Chipmunks movies hit it big, and so will our Squeezy and the Squirrel movies!
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