My Career As A Thief

At 4:50 PM yesterday, a “Flash Mob” of more than 30 people, robbed an Yves Saint Laurent store in the Glendale Mall of about $300,000 in merchandise.

I hate “Flash Mob” robbery, but I was emboldened by this crime, and today tried to rob Costco of two pair of socks. A Girl Scout tackled me, and a store clerk sat on me until the police arrived.

Would someone please post my bail and come and get me? I don’t like the food here, and I regret my crime, mostly because they're not going to let me keep the socks.

With Love To All - Dick