The Safest Vehicle

Dear Reader, This story is meant strictly in humor. Please enjoy.

In the news, Toyota is recalling all of its electric SUV's because the wheels may fall off, and GM is recalling nearly 1/2 million large SUV's because of seat belt issues. Car recalls happen regularly. 

Because my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros may buy a new car, she asked my advice. To assure her the safest of vehicles for her family, I made an usual recommendation:

Dear Yanin,

I recommend a Sherman Tank. I know this is extremely unusual but I have been very pleased with mine, which I bought from war surplus at a great price!

Of course it was drab Army green, but I painted it candy apple red to make it more attractive.

Here are some of the advantages to owning one:

Traffic will never again be a problem for you. No matter how busy the freeway or surface streets are, everyone will get out of your way.

Parking is easy. Just park on top of whatever is already parked. And you won’t need change for the meter, because you probably knocked it over.

You don’t need car insurance. This tank is almost impossible to destroy.

But there are a few drawbacks:

To have it washed, it will take everyone working at the car wash to suds it up and wash and dry it, so bring plenty of cash for tips.

It guzzles a lot of gas, 7/10s of a mile per gallon. But it is worth every penny.

Only the military can service it for you, so buy the long-term warranty option. And if the U.S. is at war, it may be hard to schedule an appointment.

So there you have it Yanin. If you want to keep your family safe, this vehicle is perfect for you.

Dear Dick,

Laughing out loud, I would love a Sherman tank but as it is, people already think that I’m a little crazy… imagine if they see me getting to work in my new transportation!! LOL!!  😊😊

Dear Yanin, 

I wouldn't worry about what other people think, they will be too busy trying to get out of the way of your Sherman Tank to think anything.

Dear Reader,

After Yanin thought it over, she realized a Sherman Tank is her best option.

Dear Dick,

I already picture myself like the female version of Rambo! You are right, with that look and riding the Sherman Tank they will just think of getting out of my way, feel confident already! LOL!!! 😊😊

So Dear Reader,

The next time you are in the market for a new vehicle, a Sherman Tank just might be ideal. It is safe, and will impress everyone, including those people who thought you would never amount to anything.

With Love To All - Dick

Co-Author - Yanin Ontiveros