Saturday, February 11, 2023

A Squad Of Drug-Sniffing Squirrels

According to The Washington Post, a Chinese police unit said it "successfully trained" six Eurasian red squirrels to sniff out drugs, as this elite little squad can get into tight places dogs cannot reach.

Impressed, I interviewed Sammy, the squirrel squad leader to learn more:

Are you excited about this Sammy? "Well," he replied, "It beats scrambling for nuts and being chased by cats."

How well does it pay? "Peanuts," he replied. "Sometimes acorns," he added. "We want equal pay with the detectives and dogs that do this job."

Is it dangerous? "Not at first," he answered. "But now they are putting us into tiny bullet proof jackets with 'police' on our backs, and everyone suspects us."

Are there other job hazards? "Absolutely!" he said. "We sniff enough cocaine and we all get high. My partner Sidney is still in drug rehab."

Would you encourage other squirrels to get into this line of work? "The hours are long," he replied, "and there are no job promotions, because in the end, you are still a squirrel."

Is there anything special about this job? "Yes," he enthusiastically answered. "The first six of us are males, and in our uniforms, we are irresistible to females."

"In fact," he continued, "We are considering creating calendars for sale in which we are shown as our sexiest selves. We will make big money! And if it all works out we will be on our way to Hollywood to get our own shows."

With Love To All - Dick 

To learn more, Google The Washington Post, "A squad of drug-sniffing squirrels is training to join China's police."

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