In honor of the Super Bowl, Taco Bell is introducing a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza,” four times the size of its regular Mexican Pizza.
To prepare for the challenge of trying to eat one of these things, my stomach and I had a talk. “Are you nuts,” screamed my stomach, “It’s so high in calories, fats and cholesterol, it could kill us!”
“But that’s the challenge,” I replied. “I could become the Evil Knievel of food sports, admired by pot heads everywhere!”
“With that kind of popularity,” I continued, “They’ll make a movie of my life, as I become the modern day Superman, somehow surviving the most toxic material the food world has ever created!
“And from my new found acclaim, and buttocks size, I’ll be so big, they’ll have to give me not one, but two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.”
“That did it,” replied my stomach. “You’ve lost your mind, and I’m out of here,” he said as I heard a door slam inside me.
“It can’t be that dangerous,” I thought. “Taco Bell loves its customers.” And then I saw two cockroaches running away in terror from a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza.”
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