Modeled on the Tour de France, the Sea Turtle Conservancy
on August 1st, will launch the Tour de Turtles.
The “race” will include putting trackers on turtle “contestants,” and measuring when and where the turtles go.
But much like the Tour de France, rumors are already swirling about the illegal use of steroids.
In shocking sports news, Novak Djokovic will be unable to play for any more tennis championships because no one can pronounce his name.
GiveVision has a great new product, that allows sports fans with limited vision to see everything in far greater detail using their new GiveVision headset!
But the biggest market is for matchmakers, such as eHarmony as GiveVision headsets allow a much better look at candidates.
Recently, I began pursuing an exciting new career in the entertainment industry. Looking for opportunities, I went to Disneyland, where they auditioned me for a wide variety of roles.
Would they cast me as Mufasa ("The Lion King") or Prince Charming? Well not exactly.
At the Weinerschnitzel Weiner Nationals, an annual event held in Los Alamitos, CA a Dachshund named Beenie Von Weenie was declared “The Fastest Wienie of the West” for 2023 after he outran about 100 other Dachshunds. He won $1000 and a new dog house, in this fund raising charity event.
There is a new service that allows scared passengers to call
a pilot before flying, to ask questions and get reassurance. It’s called Dial A Pilot, and the cost is only $50 for a 15
minute call.
As an entrepreneur, I see another great potential service. Dial A Cop. For just $500 on a stolen credit card you can speak with a retired FBI agent.
The dental profession is excited about a new Japanese medication that could regrow teeth. Clinical trials begin July 2024, and it could be in commercial use by 2030.
Pepsi just introduced a great new food product, Colachup! It combines cola with ketchup, something the world has always wanted.
As a man into health food, I am thrilled! For this is the first time I can eat a food that will not only immediately clear itself out of my system, but clear out everything else I’ve recently eaten.
On July 4th, I competed in the Nathan‘s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Joey Chestnut won by eating 62 hotdogs and buns in 10 minutes.
Last week, I witnessed a Medical Miracle! A 98-year-old
man on his deathbed reached for a cup of water, and accidentally
drank a cup of hot Sriracha Sauce.
