“After nearly 400 years, Connecticut is considering posthumously exonerating the people, mostly women, accused of witchcraft in the 17th and 18th centuries.”
Alse Young was the first women, hanged May 26, 1647. Wanting to know her reaction to possibly being exonerated in 2023, I went to a spiritual medium, who then brought Alse into the room.
It was reported last week Egyptian archaeologists discovered a 4300 year old mummy, the oldest mummy yet found. His name was Hekashepes and he was entombed in a limestone sarcophagus (fancy coffin).
The Washington Post recently ran a story, “The case for talking to your houseplants.” Inspired, I called a meeting of my roses:
To keep us safe from crime, my neighbors and I formed a neighborhood watch. And we warn intruders that there is an imminent armed response.
That warning is real. With weapons so plentiful in the U.S. I made a great buy on a Howitzer, which now sets on my front lawn.
It stands 9-feet tall, and 9-feet wide, weighs 16,000 pounds and will intimidate any intruders. Unfortunately, it does have two major problems:
A new U.S. law has ended the requirement that all drugs be tested on lab mice or other animals prior to human trials. This is a great news for animal rights activists.
But a protest began from an unlikely source. Marty Mouse cried out, “How am I supposed to support a wife and 47 children without my lab income?”
Fortunately, Peloton had the answer.
Archaeologists in Israel made an amazing discovery: 780,000 year old fish dinner waste! This means early humans cooked dinners nearly a million years ago!
They don’t know who these people were or how the dinner waste lasted so long but I think it happened something like this:
Desperately hoping for a Christmas Miracle I waited in line behind many children. When my turn came, a startled Santa looked at me and said, “How old are you?”
“77 Santa,” I replied, “And I have been good.” His elves agreed. “What would you like,” he asked with a smile as if he already knew.
“I want to visit the past,” I answered, “To a time 50-years-ago, when I heard a little girl in a homeless shelter ask her mother for a new doll, and her mother replied, “No! We can’t afford it!”
