Adam and Eve and Irving

In the biblical story, Adam and Eve were the world's first people, and they lived in paradise.

But a snake persuaded Eve to eat forbidden fruit and she persuaded Adam and in His anger, God banished them from paradise. This began all of mankind's misery.

Recently however, the writings of Irving, the third person God created, have been discovered and they tell a different story:

"So I'm having lunch with Adam," Irving wrote, "when Eve arrived with a basket full of apples she said a snake gave her.

"Her first question to Adam was, 'Do I look fat?' "

"Clothes had not yet been invented," wrote Irving, "and every ounce showed."

"At first, Adam tried to avoid her question because he knew they would have a fight if he answered it but Eve persisted in asking."

"Finally Adam said, 'Eating an apple could keep us healthy and I will have one with you.' "

"As they each ate an apple, suddenly God spoke. 'I warned you,' He said. 'Now you will have to leave paradise to live in a poorer part of town, and take Irving with you.' "

"To me," wrote Irving," that meant paradise was left to the snakes, But if eating an apple would upset God, imagine what my sarcasm would do."

"As we walked out the exit," Irving continued, "Adam asked God, 'What was I supposed to do to avoid a fight with Eve?' "

"To which God replied, 'I don't know. Women are a new concept. We'll have to figure it out. But in the meantime, don't listen to snakes.' "

With Love To All ~ Dick

Irving's description of these events is the first human writing.