The Great Pissing Contest

Genovia was desperate for a new president. The current one had failed miserably in dealing with the pandemic that swept the land, ignored the environment, hadn't paid his taxes and was buried in debts and litigation.

So in the time honored tradition among men, the next president would be selected by a pissing contest.

The men lined up on a pier overhanging Lake Woebegone, and began urinating with everything their beer had given them.

Selecting A New U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Dear Reader: President Trump and the Republican controlled Senate are selecting a new conservative Supreme Court justice just before the presidential election, thus taking that selection away from the Democrats in case they win the presidential election. President Trump will now have selected 3 of the 9 justices. He is under fire for repeatedly violating his oath of office, including threatening to stay in office should he lose the election. This is unprecedented in U.S. history. By stacking the Court, he may have a better chance to stay in office if his case goes to the Supreme Court, claiming the election was rigged against him.

The Democrats response has been to threaten to "pack" the Supreme Court, adding more justices than the 9 authorized under the law, if their presidential candidate is elected, and if they also elect enough senators to control the Senate. If implemented, this unfortunate approach would further undermine the Court.

What follows is a satirical email discussion I had with my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros, in which I use the Democrat's Supreme Court logic.

Defending The President of The United States

Dear Reader: In 1995, the man who is now President of The United States allegedly raped a woman, and last year while President, publicly insulted her appearance and claimed she is "not my type." She sued him for defamation (damages to her reputation). Unprecedented in U.S. history, the U.S. Attorney General decided the Federal Government should defend the President and at taxpayer expense. 

He is also attempting to substitute the U.S. Government as the defending litigant, because the President made those terrible comments while in office. If he succeeds, her case will be dismissed because the Federal Government can't be sued for defamation. 

What follows is an email discussion I had with my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros, who shared some business information with me that I set aside to address this issue. The following is our email discussion:

A Lesson In Faith

With drought ravaging the little mountain town, the villagers were desperate for rain. 

Being a religious community, they decided to come together early the following day to pray for rain.

The King Of California

With such horrible unresolved issues confronting the U.S. and its largest state, California something had to dramatically change. And suddenly, change came!

Disgusted with the politicians, the people decided "anyone could do better" and by lottery, California selected a child to hold the new office of King or Queen, with each office holder being in charge for one year.

To my surprise, my seven-year-old grandson Ikaika won the lottery and prepared to take office.

Of course before he could serve, he had to get the permission of his parents and of his second grade school teacher.

The Happiest Place On Earth

With all mankind's miseries throughout the ages, it was inevitable someone would create “The Happiest Place On Earth.”

It is now under construction, located near Disneyland, meant to include those who didn’t find enough happiness there.

Recently, I spoke with it’s creator, Willis Blunderfield to find out what it will include.

A Strong Leader and a Man of Compassion

Dear Reader, This unfortunate story of the U.S. President actually happened and it violates the U.S. Constitution. It happened soon after the news-media reported the President had hid in a bunker underneath the White House to avoid peaceful demonstrators protesting police brutality.

To reestablish himself as a strong leader, ironically, he did what the demonstrators nationwide and worldwide are protesting against. After describing the President's role, I made it satire involving Jesus and sent it to my son Kyle, who like me is a long-time real estate investor, which became part of the satire for California has arbitrarily imposed severe restrictions on investors.

Whether the nation holds this President accountable for his illegal actions awaits to be seen.