A Letter From God To You

Dear One, 

Seldom do you hear from me, but lately things have gotten very stressful for you, and I would like to express myself in this letter to you. 

Did Little Jesus Believe In Santa Claus?

The question of whether little Jesus believed in Santa Claus has perplexed historians throughout the ages. 

In search of the answer, I visited internationally renowned professor and historian Willis Blunderfield. 

"Dr. Blunderfield, was little Jesus a believer in Santa Claus," I asked.

Sid's Gold Emporium - A Parable

2,000 years ago Sid had his famous Jerusalem superstore, The Gold Emporium. 

It was a place where the rich and the poor, the locals and the caravans came to do business.

For Sid bought, sold and traded gold, and his signs were everywhere, beckoning people to come!

Many years earlier, Sid had begun by saving his money to invest in his business and eking out profits, which he would put in a small vault.

But each year, as Sid became more successful, he put those profits in larger and larger vaults, until his current vault was the largest in Jerusalem.

And each day, he would proclaim, "I'm richer than I have ever been, but I will be richer tomorrow." 

Then one day, a profound event occurred, one that changed everything!

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Irving's Famous Deli - A Parable

2,000 years ago, Irving had a chain of restaurants from Jerusalem to Nazareth, and from Haifa to Be'er Sheva known as Irving's Famous Deli.

His schedule was intense, and there came a time when Irving needed to travel for a month. He called in his two sons and daughter, telling them:

"I'm going to give each of you 10,000 shekels, and when I return, we will measure how wisely you invested that money."

A Merry Pandemic Christmas

Each Christmas many millions of children worldwide await Santa, but this year, because of the pandemic, will he and his sleigh deliver their gifts? 

To find out, I called The North Pole hotline, and got Elf Elmo who put Santa on the line. 

The Great Pissing Contest

Genovia was desperate for a new president. The current one had failed miserably in dealing with the pandemic that swept the land, ignored the environment, hadn't paid his taxes and was buried in debts and litigation.

So in the time honored tradition among men, the next president would be selected by a pissing contest.

The men lined up on a pier overhanging Lake Woebegone, and began urinating with everything their beer had given them.

Selecting A New U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Dear Reader: President Trump and the Republican controlled Senate are selecting a new conservative Supreme Court justice just before the presidential election, thus taking that selection away from the Democrats in case they win the presidential election. President Trump will now have selected 3 of the 9 justices. He is under fire for repeatedly violating his oath of office, including threatening to stay in office should he lose the election. This is unprecedented in U.S. history. By stacking the Court, he may have a better chance to stay in office if his case goes to the Supreme Court, claiming the election was rigged against him.

The Democrats response has been to threaten to "pack" the Supreme Court, adding more justices than the 9 authorized under the law, if their presidential candidate is elected, and if they also elect enough senators to control the Senate. If implemented, this unfortunate approach would further undermine the Court.

What follows is a satirical email discussion I had with my dear friend Yanin Ontiveros, in which I use the Democrat's Supreme Court logic.