Maybe The Greatest Investment Ever!

Red Bull is hugely successful, last year selling more than 11 billion cans of energy drinks worldwide!

As investors, if we can capture just a tiny piece of Red Bull's gigantic energy drink market, we will make a fortune! 

To do this, we plan to start Full of Bull, because our cans will be an ounce larger.

Red Bull's target audience is the "young and adventure-seeking," and it loads its drinks with caffeine, sugar, salt and artificial colors.

Its slogan is, "Red Bull gives you wings," implying the "wings" give you the energy to achieve greatness.

We will load ours with the same unhealthy ingredients as Red Bull and our slogan will be, "Full of Bull gives you a big butt." 

Not only is this truth in advertising but it will appeal to the massive audience that sits on the couch watching games rather than ever playing them. 

Mexican President Discovers An Elf

President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador discovered a forest spirit similar to an elf, and he has a photo to prove it. Recognizing the interview of a lifetime, I spoke with this elf, named Alf:

DK: No-one has ever seen you before. Why have you now gone public?

The New Super Oreo

There is a new Super Oreo, Most Oreo, "the most Oreo Oreo ever," according to the company. Believe it or not, it is Oreos stuffed with more Oreos!

I knew at last I could attain my lifetime goal of getting into the Guinness Book of World Records, by eating the most Most Oreo Oreos ever.

So I bought a huge bag of them, and told Guinness I would promptly eat them all.

Buying Girl Scout Cookies, 2-18-23

At Starbucks today, six of the cutest little Girl Scouts and their lovely mothers were selling cookies.

Under the California Adorable Law, it was mandatory for me to buy their cookies.

A Squad Of Drug-Sniffing Squirrels

According to The Washington Post, a Chinese police unit said it "successfully trained" six Eurasian red squirrels to sniff out drugs, as this elite little squad can get into tight places dogs cannot reach.

Impressed, I interviewed Sammy, the squirrel squad leader to learn more:

"Big Ass Mexican Pizza"

In honor of the Super Bowl, Taco Bell is introducing a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza,” four times the size of its regular Mexican Pizza.

To prepare for the challenge of trying to eat one of these things, my stomach and I had a talk. “Are you nuts,” screamed my stomach, “It’s so high in calories, fats and cholesterol, it could kill us!”

Interviewing The Chinese Weather Balloon

Today on Zoom, I briefly interviewed the Chinese Weather Balloon:

Why were you flying over Montana? “I was on vacation.”

How do you feel about being called the size of three buses? “It was insulting! I already have a bad self body image and now I will never have the confidence to attract lady balloons.”

How do you feel about being called a spy? “It’s ridiculous! When I fly, everyone can see me. James Bond, I’m not.“

What are your future plans? “I’m going to vacation by flying over the Congress and the White House. Those are great places for me to fill up with hot air.“

With Love To All - Dick