Reopening Genovia

As everyone sang “God Bless Genovia,” the scent of trouble was in the air. For the coronavirus had revealed a deep divide in the nation.

While most people remained quarantined at home, some Genovians wanted to reopen the country starting with its tattoo parlors, massage parlors and bowling alleys, Genovia’s biggest businesses.

It was tearing the country apart.

A Sports Crisis In Genovia

Because of the coronavirus, Genovia's people are suffering and the government recently canceled all sports events. But as a result, another crisis has arisen.

Hopscotch is Genovia's national sport and many sports fans paid in advance for their tickets.

But multi-millionaire Hopscotch team owners have refused to refund the money, claiming it is “Major League Hopscotch policy.”

The Birds & The Bees

Yesterday there was a tapping at my back door. As I opened the door, I saw 25 small sparrows standing on my lawn. No sparrow stood taller than 4 inches.

“I'm Lizzie,“ said a sparrow. “We want to know why you are feeding us breakfast pastry crumbs? Don’t you know you’re making us fat and sick?“

“Why did you stop feeding us healthy bread crumbs,“ she asked. “I’m sorry,“ I replied. "Recently I haven't eaten as wisely as I usually do."

Flying Sea Dog

“You’re the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen,” said a wincing man, barely able to look at the little dog.

Hearing those words, and not for the first time, this poor little dog burst into tears.

For other dogs as well as people claimed he was ugly because he had very long and floppy ears that dragged on the ground wherever he went.

To his embarrassment, sometimes he stumbled over them, as the others laughed. None of them would even help him up.

Santa’s Deadbeat Twin Brother

Everyone knows about Santa Claus’ profound kindness, but few people are aware of his twin brother Jimmy Claus, a man as bad as Santa is good.

“I’m desperate Santa,” Jimmy told his brother. “Loan me money!”

“But Jimmy,” Santa replied. “Loaning you money would only put you deeper in debt. You have to take responsibility for your actions.”

“Because of your irresponsibility I have you on my ‘Naughty List’ every year.”

Money For Santa Claus

"We have more children than ever to build toys for," said Santa to his elves. "And we don't have enough money. I'll need to borrow some."

So Santa went to a bank and requested a loan. "What is your income," asked the banker. "I have no income," replied Santa. "I give away all the toys we make."

The Miser and The Spender

"I am the richest person in the world," proclaimed the miser, all the while living as if he was broke.

"No you're not," replied the spender. "For the money brings you no fun. And when your life is over, you can't take the money with you. It is only good here and now."

Meanwhile, the spender spent all his money having fun but had no savings, only worries about what would happen to him in bad times.