Hamneskär, is a remote island, 5 miles west of the Swedish coast. It is known for its old lighthouse. Now the Swedish Gov’t has converted the housing the lighthouse keepers, families, and staff used to live in, into a hotel for vacationers.
Wanting to go there, I contacted the Manager:
The 28th Annual United Nations Climate Change Conference kicked off this morning in Dubai, with an expected attendance of 70,000 participants. A prominent focus of the conference will be the phasing out of fossil fuels.
Eager to capture the significance of the event, I looked forward to conducting interviews with some of the attendees.
A library book originally checked out in February 1927, “A History of the United States,” by Benson Lossing was recently returned to a Napa County, CA library.
According to The World Surf League, Australian pro surfer Laura Enever broke the world record when she surfed a 43 foot wave in Hawaii in January.
Recently, master repairman Joaquin Miranda, fixed the front lights to our home. But Joaquin had to return a day later, because the lights still did not work.
They didn’t work because Binkey the mouse had eaten the wires, and unable to digest them, he died. Why had he eaten them? He was determined to set a new Guinness Book Of World Records record for wires eaten at one time by one mouse, it was a bold effort!
At 4:50 PM yesterday, a “Flash Mob” of more than 30
people, robbed an Yves Saint Laurent store in the Glendale Mall of about
$300,000 in merchandise.
I hate “Flash Mob” robbery, but I was emboldened by this crime, and today tried to rob Costco of two pair of socks. A Girl Scout tackled me, and a store clerk sat on me until the police arrived.
During excavation for the Four Seasons Hotel in Rome, archaeologists were called in when Roman Emperor Nero’s famed but long lost Theater was found.
In related news, 10 minutes after the discovery, Taylor Swift booked, and sold out all of her upcoming concerts there.
Modeled on the Tour de France, the Sea Turtle Conservancy
on August 1st, will launch the Tour de Turtles.
The “race” will include putting trackers on turtle “contestants,” and measuring when and where the turtles go.
But much like the Tour de France, rumors are already swirling about the illegal use of steroids.
In shocking sports news, Novak Djokovic will be unable to play for any more tennis championships because no one can pronounce his name.
GiveVision has a great new product, that allows sports fans with limited vision to see everything in far greater detail using their new GiveVision headset!
But the biggest market is for matchmakers, such as eHarmony as GiveVision headsets allow a much better look at candidates.
Recently, I began pursuing an exciting new career in the entertainment industry. Looking for opportunities, I went to Disneyland, where they auditioned me for a wide variety of roles.
Would they cast me as Mufasa ("The Lion King") or Prince Charming? Well not exactly.
At the Weinerschnitzel Weiner Nationals, an annual event held in Los Alamitos, CA a Dachshund named Beenie Von Weenie was declared “The Fastest Wienie of the West” for 2023 after he outran about 100 other Dachshunds. He won $1000 and a new dog house, in this fund raising charity event.
There is a new service that allows scared passengers to call
a pilot before flying, to ask questions and get reassurance. It’s called Dial A Pilot, and the cost is only $50 for a 15
minute call.
As an entrepreneur, I see another great potential service. Dial A Cop. For just $500 on a stolen credit card you can speak with a retired FBI agent.
The dental profession is excited about a new Japanese medication that could regrow teeth. Clinical trials begin July 2024, and it could be in commercial use by 2030.
Pepsi just introduced a great new food product, Colachup! It combines cola with ketchup, something the world has always wanted.
As a man into health food, I am thrilled! For this is the first time I can eat a food that will not only immediately clear itself out of my system, but clear out everything else I’ve recently eaten.
On July 4th, I competed in the Nathan‘s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Joey Chestnut won by eating 62 hotdogs and buns in 10 minutes.
Last week, I witnessed a Medical Miracle! A 98-year-old
man on his deathbed reached for a cup of water, and accidentally
drank a cup of hot Sriracha Sauce.
Inspired by Domingo German pitching a perfect game for
the New York Yankees over the Oakland A’s (he got all 27 batters out) two nights ago, last
night I pitched against a team of peewee leaguers. (ages 6 and 7)
Unfortunately, they hit all my pitches until my manager, my 10 year old grandson Ikaika took me out of the game. We were losing 27 to 0.
In a recent excavation in Pompeii, a city that was buried
in volcanic ash in 79 A.D. a fresco of what looks like a pizza was uncovered.
What is striking about this fresco is that mozzarella cheese had not been created yet, nor had tomatoes from South America yet been discovered.
In an attempt to set a Guinness Book Of World Records record for the number of Dolly Parton impersonators in one place, at one time, the Irish town of Listowel 5-days ago had over 1100 impersonators.
The tiny, adorable Puerto Vallarta Mexican mud turtle, about the size of a thumb, was on the brink of extinction until scientists recently began to save it.
In their new “Our Living Islands” program, the Irish government announced a grant program of up to $92,000 for those willing to move to various offshore Irish islands, as they try to attract new residents.
Touched by their exciting offer, this morning I wrote the following letter to the Irish Government:
You have heard of houseboats, but in 2019, in an
Amsterdam canal the first European floating neighborhood opened.
It’s called Schoonschip and was created by Marjan de Blok. There are 46 homes housing 144 residents.
I interviewed Mr. de Blok:
In the news, Kelly Drew, professor of chemistry and biochemistry at the University of Alaska, after decades of studying how Arctic squirrels hibernate, is researching ways humans can “hibernate” during long space missions. Excited by her work, I called NASA Administrator Bill Nelson, but with an even better proposition:
Proclaimed as a scientific breakthrough, scientists announced they filmed Costello, an octopus, having a nightmare, a first for an octopus. I asked University of Vermont scientist Dr. Eric Angel Ramos, why this is important:
500 miles east of Madagascar in the Indian Ocean is Mauritius and 15 miles further north is Round Island. There, the last hurricane palm sways in the breeze. Scientists are trying desperately to save this species. To learn more, I spoke with Dr. Yama Bahama.
In shocking news, it is estimated that 80% of the koalas in New South Wales, Australia have the sexually transmitted disease chlamydia. To find out how scientists will combat this disease, I spoke to Australian Professor Norman Nerdly:
Guys, have you been searching for that perfect woman? A woman who will:
1) Listen to everything you have to say, and not discuss her "feelings," or anything else that bores you.
2) Have sex with you as often as you like, and not seek a "commitment."
3) Have no baggage from prior relationships or have other personal problems.
If so, I have The Perfect Woman for you:
The New York Times recently published an exciting new scientific study researching why hair on humans and mice turn gray. Impressed by all the time and money spent on this research, I decided to test it for myself.
News Headline: "Researchers Capture Sharpest-Ever Images of a Mouse Brain," Duke University scientists announced.
When asked the relevancy of this scientific breakthrough, Duke scientists had no answer, except to say, "Doing this seemed like a great idea during a Saturday night tequila drinking contest."
Last weekend, The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile came to Las Vegas and in conjunction with the iconic Little White Chapel, where Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were married, held weddings.
In the news, approximately 2 million dimes, or about $200,000, was taken from a tractor trailer in a parking lot of the Philadelphia Mills shopping mall complex in north-east Philadelphia on Thursday morning.
Seeing a great story, I approached one of the robbers:
Archeologists recently discovered a 3,200 year-old-tomb belonging to Panehsy, the temple guard of Egyptian deity Amun.
While exploring the tomb yesterday, the archeologists discovered a newspaper interview of Mrs. Panehsy:
At the Berlin Zoo, an elephant, Pang Pha amazed scientists, when despite having no thumbs, she peeled a banana.
Scientists at Britain's famed Welcome Sanger Institute are trying to learn why humans get cancer far more often than other mammals, such as whales and elephants.
On April 3, 1973 Motorola engineer, and inventor Martin Cooper using a brick sized device, made history when he placed the world’s first cell phone call.
It was to Domino’s, and unfortunately, he is still waiting for his pizza to be delivered.
With Love To All - Dick
Since the 1950s The US Navy has used dolphins to locate explosives and recover submerged objects. But increasingly, underwater drones are replacing dolphins, many of whom are now in old age.
To understand the impact on these old dolphins, I interviewed the eldest of them, Saul.
Red Bull is hugely successful, last year selling more than 11 billion cans of energy drinks worldwide!
President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador discovered a forest spirit similar to an elf, and he has a photo to prove it. Recognizing the interview of a lifetime, I spoke with this elf, named Alf:
DK: No-one has ever seen you before. Why have you now gone public?
At Starbucks today, six of the cutest little Girl Scouts and their lovely mothers were selling cookies.
Under the California Adorable Law, it was mandatory for me to buy their cookies.
According to The Washington Post, a Chinese police unit said it "successfully trained" six Eurasian red squirrels to sniff out drugs, as this elite little squad can get into tight places dogs cannot reach.
Impressed, I interviewed Sammy, the squirrel squad leader to learn more:
In honor of the Super Bowl, Taco Bell is introducing a “Big Ass Mexican Pizza,” four times the size of its regular Mexican Pizza.
To prepare for the challenge of trying to eat one of these things, my stomach and I had a talk. “Are you nuts,” screamed my stomach, “It’s so high in calories, fats and cholesterol, it could kill us!”
Today on Zoom, I briefly interviewed the Chinese Weather Balloon:
Why were you flying over Montana? “I was on vacation.”
How do you feel about being called the size of three buses? “It was insulting! I already have a bad self body image and now I will never have the confidence to attract lady balloons.”
How do you feel about being called a spy? “It’s ridiculous! When I fly, everyone can see me. James Bond, I’m not.“
What are your future plans? “I’m going to vacation by flying over the Congress and the White House. Those are great places for me to fill up with hot air.“
With Love To All - Dick
“After nearly 400 years, Connecticut is considering posthumously exonerating the people, mostly women, accused of witchcraft in the 17th and 18th centuries.”
Alse Young was the first women, hanged May 26, 1647. Wanting to know her reaction to possibly being exonerated in 2023, I went to a spiritual medium, who then brought Alse into the room.
It was reported last week Egyptian archaeologists discovered a 4300 year old mummy, the oldest mummy yet found. His name was Hekashepes and he was entombed in a limestone sarcophagus (fancy coffin).
The Washington Post recently ran a story, “The case for talking to your houseplants.” Inspired, I called a meeting of my roses:
To keep us safe from crime, my neighbors and I formed a neighborhood watch. And we warn intruders that there is an imminent armed response.
That warning is real. With weapons so plentiful in the U.S. I made a great buy on a Howitzer, which now sets on my front lawn.
It stands 9-feet tall, and 9-feet wide, weighs 16,000 pounds and will intimidate any intruders. Unfortunately, it does have two major problems:
A new U.S. law has ended the requirement that all drugs be tested on lab mice or other animals prior to human trials. This is a great news for animal rights activists.
But a protest began from an unlikely source. Marty Mouse cried out, “How am I supposed to support a wife and 47 children without my lab income?”
Fortunately, Peloton had the answer.
Archaeologists in Israel made an amazing discovery: 780,000 year old fish dinner waste! This means early humans cooked dinners nearly a million years ago!
They don’t know who these people were or how the dinner waste lasted so long but I think it happened something like this:
